Spoiler: Very personal #Womanhood.
Five for fighting – 100 Years has never been more right.
Half time goes by, suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye, sixty-seven is gone
The sun is getting high, we're moving on...
Fifteen, there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose, hey fifteen
There's never a wish better than this
When you've only got a hundred years to live
I would pay whatever money to get the ability to control the time: return, stop, if not just let it slow down a little. Wait, maybe I somehow do?
It was around year 2022 the terms “Social Freezing” started to become a hype, one of my close friend did that, which means it has been planted in my head ever since. Regardless whether one wants to admit or no matter how science has develop, they can’t really change nature: we, women do have a biological clock. Ready or not, there will be a moment where die Torschlusspanik come. What did I do to so-called ‘buy the time’?
The real active journey started at 28 March 2024 where I first visited a fertility clinic in Recklinghausen, there I got introduced to a hormone medicine which cost ab 1.000,00 Euro. Okay I not only do need mental preparation; financial too. From my first blood test result, the doctor said I haven’t been vaccinated for MMR, in other words, she won’t do any procedure without me being immune to it. That leads me forming a plan to complete any vaccination which the Germans has done when they were kids.
For someone who has been living in Germany, know… everything takes time, including doctor appointment #It is what it is. From June 2024 – July 2025 I have vaccination scheduled #Never feel so secure:
- Tetanus + Diphtherie + Poliomyelitis + Pertussis
- Masern, Mumps Röteln (MMR)
- Tollwut
- HepA-HepB
- Dengue
- Jap. Enzephalitis
- Typhus
Some vaccines has nothing to do with eggs freezing, however I was clear from the beginning ~ I will only do this treatment once. It gives me an emotional peace to do the procedure after I’ve completed the necessary vaccines. In the meantime, I have decided to go to a fertility clinic in Dortmund as it’s easier for doing the control.
January 2025, finally confidence with my funding, which means I can start the procedure in February 2025, medicine ordered. Every day prior my period was very anxious. I can’t believe I manifest my idea that has been there for almost 2 years.
Formed a girl squad who knows what I will be doing, consist of Andrea, Feli, April, Bito, Selina, Sophie, Chantal, Sissy, Claudia and Alina + Hainka which of course got bigger to Schwager, Julius, Lena, Amigo at some point the circle is keep expanding to Dennis and Dominik haha can’t hold it, was very excited for this journey!
For my first injection, I got support from Andrea, along my 10 days injections, Feli and Dennis got involved too. Last day with Feli was very chaotic where the liquid I supposed to inject myself was leak all over the table whereas I already passed the scheduled time, #Was now or never moment!
24 Hours before the operation, I want to do a “Maternity Shoot” ala ala. All my money & time investement is there inside my belly. For the past 10 days my focus was only for my unborn child, I can’t have proper dinner out because I have to be back home, took out my medicine from fridge 10 minutes before inject myself each time at the same hour.
Two ways to see it:
One, this unborn baby will be loved, see what your mother has gone through <3
Two, this hasn’t even been transformed to a real baby, yet already require some emotional and material sacrifice 😀
#Anything for you!
On the operation day, I ask Dominik to be my Begleiter.
Need another mental preparation if you’d ask a German, had agreed at 07:30, well… he arrived at 07:21 #Warum?
When the Anaesthesist gave me a gas mask, he said “you can close your eyes so you wouldn’t feel dizzy” I’m curious how it will looks like, this is my first time with dieses Zeug, oh God, felt very übel, I think I lasted only 3 breath before passed out. The operation itself was only 14 minutes, believe me, he timed it, no one let me repeat no effing one would say 14, all other people in the whole planet, will say either 10 or 15 😉
Once I kind of half awake half under Narkose, I was on the waiting room already, there I kept asking Dominik “how long have I been here?” I didn’t even processed what his answer until he said “you already asked me the same question three times” haha My doctor came to inform she could only freeze 4 eggs, which is rather low. Suggested if I would want to do second round? Hell to the no! Even if in the end its all fail, these Fantastic 4 are the best of what my body can give.
Then we went home while Dominik done home office until the übergabe with Felicia around 19:00. It was being said, I cannot be alone for the first 24 hours although I actually felt OK, only drink 1x Ibuprofen.
Haven’t paid any single money the whole time I was in the clinic, until the invoice come in March to which put me in doubt if I need to sell my kidney, of course it was more expensive than whats written as Kostenvorschlag:
- Stimulation und Entnahme von Eizellen: EUR 1.076,17
- Kyro-Konservierung von Eizellen: EUR 521,65
- Medikamente: EUR 784,13 + EUR 480,80 (doctor, I’m still very sauer of you for prescribing something I didn’t need, nach dem Motto “just in case you need it on Sunday you must buy it today”, now I can’t return nor sell it pffff)
- Narkose: EUR 260,00
- Jährliche Lagerungsgebühr: EUR 511,00 (first seven years)
Other than a blue spot on my belly, a look alike drug user arm plus an empty bank account, I’m glad I’ve done it. Close the circle of my 2 years preparation.
Thank you for the bottom of my heart for all people who been there physically, via WA, in thoughts etc. Adulting is a never ending process, takes you from the highest high to the lowest low or vice versa, full of mysteries waiting to be unravelled.